Feds announce all social programs to be paid for by Uncle Roy’s tax dollars
OTTAWA – In a bold move, finance minister Bill Morneau has announced that all of the Liberal government’s new social programming will be paid for personally by the tax dollars of Uncle Roy.…
Tories blast Trudeau for not having offshore shell corporation
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party expressed outrage this morning that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was not one of the many world leaders recently exposed by the Panama Papers as having a pri…
Justin Trudeau slings yoga mat over shoulder, whispers “Namaste” sensually in your ear
OTTAWA — Reports have come in that after toweling off his rippling yoga abs, Justin Trudeau gracefully picked up his eco-friendly mat and set your body ablaze by whispering “Namaste” sensua…
Hero dog wins award for bravery, despite not even knowing that he exists
OTTAWA – Pixie, a four-year-old army dog, has been awarded the Dickin Medal for bravely serving in military conflict, despite the fact that, as a dog, he has no concept of sacrifice, duty, or sel…
Winter boyfriends released back into the wild
DAWSON, YT — With the arrival of spring in Canada’s North, males nesting with females are cast off into the unknown dating environment in a seasonal phenomenon known as the “Spr…
CRA registers itself as Offshore Revenue Agency to avoid enforcing tax laws
GEORGE TOWN, CAYMAN ISLANDS — The Canada Revenue Agency re-registered its agency’s location offshore to the Cayman Islands last month in a move high-level civil servants are hoping will sav…
Spain’s Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy lobbies to end siesta – in another five minutes
MADRID — Groggy Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy plans to prepare a campaign that will end the tradition of the afternoon nap, just as soon as he wakes up from one. The sleepy Prime Min…
Kevin O’Leary starts rumour that Kevin O’Leary named in Panama Papers
TORONTO – Following the explosive “Panama Papers” leak, detailing the offshore accounts of high profile billionaires worldwide, Dragon’s Den star Kevin O’Leary has been caught starting a ru…
Can everyone who isn’t like me wear a label of some kind so I know how to deal with you?
BY: BARRY T. MACINTYRE I think I speak for everyone when I say, I’m pretty damn confused these days. What with the cultural appropriations, sexual orientalizations, racism, reverse-racism, assess…
Thomas Mulcair reactivates Linkedin account
EDMONTON — Outgoing NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair has reactivated his LinkedIn account moments after being rejected by his party, which called for a leadership race to replace him. Since 2012, …
