NEW YORK – Following the hiring of right-wing pundit Tomi Lahren, Fox News has announced that they will finally be allowing long-time contributor Ann Coulter to die. “So much pain… for so ...
Ontario to rename all John A. MacDonald schools John A. Scotiabank Elementary
Luke is joined by Miguel Rivas, Andrew Barr and Nile Seguin. They get into the furor over how the Maple Leafs will now play in a building named after a different corporation (3:00), the campaign to re...
Houston Red Cross running dangerously low on thoughts and prayers
HOUSTON – The Houston chapter of the American Red Cross has issued a desperate plea for thoughts and prayers as Hurricane Harvey inundates southern Texas with record rainfall and devastating flo...
But if we tear down the statues of Sir John A, how are we going to remember his legacy as a genocidal drunk?
Editorial by: T. Garrett McHue I’m deeply concerned that some of people who call themselves ‘Canadians’ are trying to rewrite Canadian history by tearing down statues of our First Prime Minister and r...
Man proud of Western Culture mostly just seems to like Seth MacFarlane
EDMONTON – Although he claims pride in the culture and traditions of the West, local man Eric Arlin mostly just seems to enjoy movies and TV shows written by Seth MacFarlane. “It’s time the angl...
Women crazy, says neurotic shambles of a man
TORONTO – Each and every single woman on the planet is crazy, according to research from Paul, a broken-down wreck of a human male. “Newsflash, uh, women are crazy,” said Paul, laughing far too ...
Scotiabank announces that all non-Leafs fans will have to pay $2.50 to use Scotiabank arena
TORONTO – The Air Canada Centre will be getting a new name along with an additional $2.50 fee for any non-Toronto Maple Leaf fans who wish to attend games. Scotiabank says that the fee is a nece...
QUIZ: Only 1 in 10 people know these letters of the alphabet!
Let’s face it, knowing the letters of the alphabet is hard. We all know A and B, but what about those ones at the end? X? What’s that? And let’s not get started on that whole L-M-N-O-P stretch. Only 1...
Trudeau responds to Trump’s threat of ripping up NAFTA by laminating all trade deals
OTTAWA – After President Donald Trump once again threatened to “rip up” NAFTA, Justin Trudeau has begun laminating all international trade deals as a preventative strategy. “It is my duty to stand up ...
Local man hates new fantasy series that he’s absolutely going to read all of
CALGARY – After throwing down the first volume in disgust, local man Eric Patel declared that the new fantasy series Swords of Korregon is terrible but that he’s definitely still going to read a...
