WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump has expressed abject horror on discovering that the small GI Joe figures he plays with are actually high-ranking U.S. officials with the authority to imple…
U.S.
Trump crosses ‘start WWIII’ off his New Year’s Resolutions list
WASHINGTON D.C. – Right after ordering the assassination of Iran’s General Suleimani a satisfied Donald Trump sat back and took a pleasant moment to cross off ‘start WWIII’ from his 2020 Ne…
House votes to give Senate a good laugh
WASHINGTON — In a move widely believed to be inspired by the good-natured cheer of the holiday season, the House of Representatives voted yesterday to give the Senate a good ol’ chuckle by …
Trump pardons serial killer Son of Sam after learning about his military service
WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump has issued a presidential pardon to the notorious serial killer Son of Sam after Trump discovered the murderer served for three years in the United St…
America makes animal cruelty a federal crime, freeing up more cages for children
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States government has passed a law making animal cruelty a federal crime, a major step forward in addressing both animal rights issues and the increasingly dir…
Bruce Wayne warns wealth tax on billionaires could result in fewer crimes foiled via jet-powered cars
GOTHAM CITY — Following proposals for a wealth tax by Democratic primary candidate Elizabeth Warren, billionaire Bruce Wayne warned this tax could lead to a massive drop in colorful crimina…
Support for impeachment reaches 99% among occupants of White House
WASHINGTON D.C. – Recent polling data has astounded political experts with results suggesting that support for the impeachment of President Donald Trump has reached 99% among those who live and w…
Roger Stone concerned he has not yet been rescued from jailhouse by escape zeppelin
WASHINGTON D.C. — Trump political operative Roger Stone, after having been found guilty on seven counts, is reportedly quite anxious that his previously-arranged escape zeppelin has yet to …
Police concerned as Jane Fonda recidivism climbs by 300%
WASHINGTON, DC—Police have reportedly expressed quiet concern following a disturbing statistic showing actress and activist Jane Fonda’s re-offence rate has nearly quadrupled at an alarming speed…
“You’ll see! One day I’ll be the biggest dancer on Broadway!” sobs Sean Spicer to disapproving dad
EAST BAY, RI — Following his surprisingly successful performances on ABC’s Dancing with the stars, former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer’s blossoming career in show business collided wit…
