PHILADELPHIA, PA – Following his widely-mocked Saturday morning press conference in front of Four Seasons Total Landscaping, Trump personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani clarified that he obviously …
U.S.
Woman’s head falls off when she relaxes her shoulders for the first time in four years
SEATTLE – While many citizens of the United States celebrate the end of the presidency of Donald Trump, one woman is in the unfortunate position of realizing the tenseness she’s been experi…
Breaking: USA does bare minimum
WASHINGTON D.C. – After a gruelling five days of counting votes between presidential candidates Donald Trump and Joe Biden, the American people have pulled forward to do the absolute bare m…
Jared Kushner insists Trump can still win if his parents make a big enough donation to the Electoral College
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Jared Kushner, President Donald Trump’s son-in-law and Senior Advisor, is adamant that Trump has an excellent chance of winning the 2020 presidential election assuming Tr…
Editorial: I could have saved you from all of this, you beautiful little fools – By Jeb Bush
Oh my lovelies, my pretty little Américaines… how far have you fallen? I never could have believed that even after you decided Trump was the man for you, that you would be brought this low.…
Eric Trump still in line at Apple Store to vote
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Eyewitnesses report President Trump’s son is still in line at the Georgetown Apple Store, waiting to cast his vote in the 2020 Presidential Election which stopped accepti…
World offers to buy U.S. special present if it doesn’t re-elect deranged fascist
NEW YORK CITY – At a special meeting of the full United Nations, the countries of the world came together and resolved to buy America a “pretty cool gift” if it chooses not to r…
American man not patriotic enough to vote in upcoming election
OTTAWA – US citizen Andrew Scheer has disappointed his fellow countrymen by refusing to participate in the upcoming US election, sources confirm. Scheer’s lack of care for the future of his…
