WASHINGTON— Following a year and a half of helping to facilitate the Trump Administration’s descent into authoritarianism, US Attorney General William Barr handed in his resignation yesterday aft…
U.S.
Canada extends U.S. border closure to totally arbitrary date of January 21
OTTAWA – The Canadian Border Services Agency has announced that the Canada-U.S. border will remain closed until January 21st, “a date with no specific significance whatsoever.” “We would li…
Report: Trump has now lost the election more times than every other Presidential candidate combined
WASHINGTON D.C. – After the Supreme Court refused to even hear Texas’ effort to overturn the results of the Presidential election, Donald Trump has now lost a presidential election more tim…
Desperate Trump demands recount in New Brunswick
MONCTON, NB – Following unsuccessful recounts in Wisconsin and Georgia, along with mounting court challenges, Trump is now demanding a recount in the Canadian maritime province of New Bruns…
Trump forces Eric and Don Jr to compete for last spot on pardon list
WASHINGTON D.C. – Donald Trump has been preparing a slew of preemptive pardons to ensure none of the criminal activity carried out during his presidency will result in jail time for his fav…
Trump supporters upset President never shot man on Fifth Avenue like he promised he would
UNITED STATES – Diehard supporters of President Donald Trump are expressing their dismay at the realization that he may never shoot a man in cold blood on Fifth Avenue like he swore he would do. …
Attempted coup in global superpower much goofier than expected
WASHINGTON D.C. – The current attempt by Donald Trump and his Republican allies to subvert the will of the people and remain in power is, according to international observers, “way st…
Toby Keith, 3 Doors Down excited for invitation to play Biden inauguration
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Musician Toby Keith and rock band 3 Doors Down have both reported how excited they are to be playing for the inauguration of the next US president Joe Biden. “I mean it h…
Trump pivots to claiming he actually won 2008 election
WASHINGTON D.C. – After a frantic series of overnight tweets in which he baselessly claimed to have actually won the recent election, outgoing President Donald Trump changed tactics by clai…
Trump announces rallies, lawsuits in bid to make self too pitiful to arrest
WASHINGTON D.C. – As news outlets confirm their earlier projections of a Biden electoral college win, President Donald Trump has announced further intentions to contest the results in a bid…
