TORONTO – In the face of mounting losses, plummeting stock prices, idle jets and the suspension of major spectator sports a number of airlines have announced they will hold jet demolition d…
Sports
Despite suspended NHL season, Leafs somehow still eliminated from playoffs
TORONTO — With the NHL announcing it will suspend the 2019/20 season due to concerns over the coronavirus pandemic, the League has also announced that the Toronto Maple Leafs have somehow s…
Study: Attending Ottawa Senators game best way to isolate self from coronavirus
OTTAWA – For those looking to quarantine themselves from the coronavirus, health officials are recommending attending any Ottawa Senators home game to escape crowds or any human contact. “O…
Leafs scramble to find more heartwarming ways to lose
TORONTO – In the wake of emergency backup goalie David Ayres’ remarkable victory over them, and the subsequent outpouring of affection for him, the Toronto Maple Leafs are trying to c…
Leafs lose after failing to call up emergency backup team
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs have lost a critical game against the Carolina Hurricanes after coach Sheldon Keefe allowed his full roster of players to remain on the ice despite feignin…
Saskatchewan residents furious over local sports network’s decision to air Super Bowl instead of 2013 Grey Cup replay
Regina, Saskatchewan – Residents all across the province of Saskatchewan are furious over a local television network’s decision to air Super Bowl LIV over a replay of the 2013 Grey Cu…
Violence devastates otherwise respectful Calgary-Edmonton hockey relationship
CALGARY – Two Alberta NHL teams and their fans are trying to heal after a devastating game that was marred by unexpected violence and childish name calling last night in Calgary. The game, …
Fairweather Raptors fans excited for whenever the season starts
TORONTO – From coast to coast to coast, fans of the NBA Champion Toronto Raptors who started following the team during last year’s historic playoff run are expressing excitement for the sta…
TSN camera wins World Juniors gold medal
OSTRAVA, CZ – The TSN centre ice camera has won gold at the IIHF World Juniors in the Czech Republic on behalf of Team Canada. The camera, who played at every game at the arena showed a tre…
Canadian holiday tradition of angrily berating teenagers continues
OSTRAVA, CZ – The long-held Canadian holiday tradition of berating 16-to 19-year-olds for losing a hockey game started a few days earlier this year. Fervent displays of the holiday spirit d…
