TORONTO – As the Montreal Canadiens and their fans celebrate their Cinderella run to the Stanley Cup Finals, disappointed Leafs fans are confident that they would also have made it that far…
Sports
32-year-old unable to commit to relationship knows exactly what pro wrestling entrance music would be
Niagara Falls, ON – While Daniel Kyle is unable to commit to a romantic relationship, the thirty-two-year-old graphic designer knows exactly what he’d choose for his pro-wrestling entrance …
Man gets away with murder after eyewitness turns out to be NHL referee
MONTREAL – A homicide has gone unsolved after the eyewitness who was right there turned out to be an NHL referee, and therefore somehow missed the entire thing. “He was standing right…
5 ways to explain the Habs’ success without admitting they’re a good team
With the Montreal Canadiens having won the North Division, Canadian hockey fans outside Quebec are faced with a dilemma: how can we explain the fact that the Habs did so much better than our team…
Dominatrix offers her Subs new punishment that replicates pain, humiliation of being a Leafs fan
TORONTO – Mistress Saphira, a local Dom who specializes in unique tortures for her clients to endure, has developed a new punishment for Subs eager to feel the pain & humiliation Leafs …
Leafs forfeit Game 7 to save everyone the trouble
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs have announced they will not play Game 7 against the Montreal Canadiens to save everyone the trouble. “I think we all know how this will end,” said Leafs C…
Calgary fans celebrate highlight of Flames’ season
CALGARY – After a long, gruelling season, Flames fans were finally able to celebrate a true victory when the Edmonton Oilers were shockingly swept out of the Playoffs. “You know, it&#…
NHL claims Tom Wilson was only providing first aid by applying ice surface to opposing players’ head injuries
NEW YORK – The NHL took no further disciplinary action against Washington Capitals player Tom Wilson after claiming the enforcer was merely attempting to apply ice to his opponents’ head in…
Jack Campbell spends entire day attempting to return $5 bill to total stranger
TORONTO – Toronto Maple Leafs backup goaltender and good Samaritan Jack Campbell has spent hours looking for the person who accidentally dropped a $5 bill at Union Station in Toronto. The f…
Blue Jays use money saved by removing radio broadcast to do nothing
TORONTO – As Opening Day approaches, Toronto Blue Jays fans are outraged that Rogers will no longer be offering a distinct Blue Jays radio broadcast and will instead be replacing it with a …
