All-Canadian NHL Division contributes to national unity by causing fans to hate all the other Canadian teams - The Beaverton

All-Canadian NHL Division contributes to national unity by causing fans to hate all the other Canadian teams

– Rejoicing at the ’s nation-building project, Canadian fans are ready to absolutely hate every opposing Canadian team.

The new places all of the country’s teams together to promote common understanding, sportsmanship, and despising their conference competitors and the shitty city they came from.

“I’ve never hated Winnipeg before – it was like hating toast,” said Habs fan Loic Blanchette. “But now that we are pitted against each other, I hate them more than ever because we’re not playing Boston this year.”

The move is expected to bring Canadians closer together and much, much further apart by May 8, 2021

“I’m very proud they have all of us in one division playing each other,” boasted Sens fan Derrell Kershaw. “But fuck the Canucks and whatever province is located in. Had I not fallen asleep before the puck dropped when you played your stupid home games, I might have remembered the of the players I now loathe.”

According to sources, there was no change on how the other Canadian teams feel about the Maple since they’ve always been hated.

Meanwhile, dentists are looking forward to the added business from the additional Calgary-Edmonton games being played this season.