SUDBURY, ON – Proud feminist Brad Daniels revealed that he only uses “hysterical”, a term that labels emotional women as hormonal, when it really is his girlfriend’s time of the month. Brad…
Relationship
Fairy tale wedding? This ceremony was attacked by wolves
VANCOUVER – Family and friends of Ted and Cecilia Watanabe found themselves whisked away to a realm of wonder, enchantment, and lupine violence at the couple’s wedding this past weeke…
Air Fryer latest appliance to fail to save marriage
TRENTON, ON – After buying an air fryer over a year ago, Bobby and Muriel Fuller regret this latest appliance purchase has failed to save their marriage after a string of attempts with oth…
Missed Connections: You were the public urinator on Main and 5th
VANCOUVER – It was last Saturday, a brisk afternoon on Main Street, just North of 5th Avenue. I was the person walking their wiener dog. You were the public urinator. When I saw you there, …
Two-year pandemic officially longest relationship of woman’s life
Mississauga, ON – This week marks a major milestone in local woman Caitlyn Donahue’s life, as she celebrates two years of the COVID-19 pandemic – A.K.A. the longest relationship of her life. “I w…
Local fiancé insists that buying wedding rings in bulk is totally normal
CAMPBELLVILLE, ON ― Local man Tanner Kendall recently reassured his fiancée, Selena O’Neil, that he was buying his wedding rings in a 4-pack because it’s cheaper, and definitely not because he ha…
Top 2 things to do with your cat this Valentine’s day
Finding yourself alone yet again on Valentine’s day? With no one to share the special day with, except that cat you agreed to adopt when your roommate moved to Montreal? Not to worry, The Beavert…
Microwave vs Air Fryer: Which reheats sex toys better?
Listen, we all know the struggle. You’ve had a long day, and all you want is just to reheat something hot to fill you up inside for tonight. It used to be simple! Pop it in the microwave and acce…
Date night downgraded to hand stuff night
LETHBRIDGE – According to local sources, Alex and Taylor Shepherd’s plans for a date night have been scaled back to lethargic hand stuff in front of the TV. “I was going to treat Alex to dinner a…
Rhyming couplet seeks third
STRATFORD-UPON-AVON – Looking to spice up the poem they’re in, a rhyming couplet has posted an online classified that says “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall and had a great fall, but now we’re waiting…