QUEEN’S PARK – After a weeks-long furore around sex-ed in Ontario’s schools, Doug Ford has promised that the 1998 curriculum will be updated to include contemporary issues, such as girl-on-…
Ontario
Reinstated Ontario sex-ed curriculum polling well among sex offenders
TORONTO – Following the Ford government’s announcement that Ontario schools will revert back to the 1998 sex-ed curriculum, polls indicate the decision has been well received by the province’s re…
New Ontario Safety Minister reveals he wore bulletproof vest to see Black Panther
TORONTO — Michael Tibollo, the first-time cabinet minister heading Ontario’s anti-racism directorate, informed the legislature that he recently wore a bulletproof vest to a screening of the…
Doug Ford says asylum-seekers have run his business into the ground and stolen Renata’s inheritance
ETOBICOKE, ON – After claiming asylum-seekers were responsible for Toronto’s housing crisis, Doug Ford has added to the list of accusations, saying they’ve criminally mismanaged his family busine…
Tory MPP Oosterhoff relieved 10 year olds will no longer know more about sex than him
Niagara West, ON – 20 year old MPP Sam Oosterhoff announced today that one reason he was so delighted to see the Sex-Ed curriculum repealed was that he was sick of all these ‘cocky…
Ontario student from 2021 aces standardized phrenology exam
UXBRIDGE, ON – An Ontario student living three years into the future will receive a perfect score on his standardized phrenology exam. William Paxter, 17, will put in long hours of studying…
Revived 1998 Ontario sex-ed curriculum encourages students to be more of a Chandler and less of a Joey
TORONTO – Following the announcement that schools in Ontario will be returning to the prior 1998 sex-ed lesson plans, educators have begun dusting off old materials, which instruct students to ac…
Doug Ford replaces sex-ed curriculum with old copy of Playboy found in woods
TORONTO — Premier Ford announced today that he will scrap the 2015 Sex-Ed curriculum introduced by the Liberals, in favour of a stack of well-worn porno left for students to discover in the…
Budget cuts: Ontario unveils DIY school repair program for students
TORONTO – The Ontario PC government is calling on elementary and high school students to learn valuable construction skills since his government recently cut the $100 million school repair …
Ford vows to treat asylum seekers like his own family
QUEEN’S PARK – Facing criticism for his refusal to help resettle asylum seekers, Ontario Premier Doug Ford has pledged to treat vulnerable refugees with all the care and consideration he has show…
