TORONTO – Following the appearance of a cannabis-themed parody mascot named Tokaroo at a recent legalization event, Ontario’s public broadcaster has sent a legal threat to the man behind th…
Ontario
Leading by example: MPPs vote to lower their wages to $14/h, cut sick days
TORONTO – MPPs at Queen’s Park unanimously passed a bill that would match the same pay and benefits as minimum wage workers would receive in the rest of the province. “It’s just not fair th…
London’s new scratch ballots give voters 1/14 chance of picking mayoral candidate of their choice
LONDON, ON – Adding excitement of a cheap thrill of gambling to voting, the city of London is carrying out its first election with its new Scratch-n-Vote balloting system. The local governm…
Ontario PCs warn dealing pot could land you 4 years in Queens Park
TORONTO – With the imminent legalization of pot next week, Ontario’s provincial government has released new ads warning that illegal sales of pot could land them four years as a Premier. “T…
Ontario’s financial plan revealed to be stack of lotto tickets
TORONTO – Concerns about the budgeting focus of Ontario’s PC government were brought to the forefront again this morning, when it was revealed that the province’s financial plan consists la…
Clean up continues after annual Ford Fest orgy
Vaughan, ON – Combing through the piles of empty drink cups and bottles of lube, efforts are still underway to clean up after this year’s annual Ford Fest fuck spree, with many attendees no…
Outdated sex-ed curriculum already has Ontario students pulling out
QUEEN’S PARK – This week the effects of Ontario’s outdated sex-ed curriculum were put on display when many students across the province began to pull out of class. “Everyone knows tha…
Doug Ford invokes War Measures Act to remove Toronto bike lanes
TORONTO – Following his controversial use of the Notwithstanding Clause to interfere with Toronto City Council, Doug Ford has enacted the War Measures Act to dismantle the Bloor bike lane in Toro…
Ontario News Now host blinks Morse code for help
TORONTO – While delivering her propaganda report to Ontarians to justify eliminating city councillor seats while lambasting the Ontario PC’s opponents, staffer Lyndsey Vanstone blinked out …
Doug Ford’s Midnight Society introduces only the most horrifying legislation
QUEEN’S PARK — To speed through passage of his controversial Bill 31 cutting Toronto city council in half, last night Doug Ford held a midnight session where members could pass their most “…
