OTTAWA – With the NDP struggling in the polls, rumours are swirling that the party may seek to replace current leader Jagmeet Singh with one of their many party officials that combine natio…
National
National Energy Board insists texting ‘we cool?’ counts as consulting First Nations
CALGARY – On Thursday, the Federal Court of Appeals quashed the proposed Trans Mountain pipeline expansion project, citing as part of their supporting evidence a mass text sent from the Nat…
Conservatives reassure voters that citizenship begins at conception
HALIFAX — Following the its biannual convention, the Conservative Party of Canada has reassured voters of its official position that citizenship will be granted at the exact moment a baby is conc…
Canada doesn’t care about being left out of NAFTA talks, has cooler, more fun trade negotiation to go to anyway
OTTAWA – Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland issued an official statement today that Canada is in no way threatened by the successful bilateral negotiations between the US and Mexico…
Far-right groups demand removal of Sir John A statues down after learning he was an immigrant
MONTREAL – Far-right wing groups are calling for the immediate removal of any statues, busts, or dedications to Canada’s first Prime Minister after learning that he was born in Scotland. Ma…
Federal government thank wildfires for clearing path for Trans Mountain pipeline
KAMLOOPS, BC – The federal government is celebrating an unexpected windfall as it has discovered that the wildfires ravaging British Columbia have coincidentally cleared the path for the Tr…
Canadian Blood Services desperately seeking 22,000 donors to avoid letting gay men donate blood
OTTAWA – Canadian Blood Services says it is in urgent need of new donors before Labour Day, or else it may have to resort to the drastic measure of reversing an arbitrary ban on receiving d…
Saudi Arabia condemns Canada’s appalling human rights record of selling arms to Saudi Arabia
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – In the wake of the diplomatic row over Canada’s support of political prisoners, Saudi Arabia continues to put out press releases and social media statements attacking…
Saudi Arabia sanctions Canada from its lucrative flogging industries
RIYAHD – In yet another blow to Canadian international trade, Saudi Arabia said the Canadian government will no longer be able to access the country’s profitable corporal punishment industr…
Canada aims to reduce number of detained migrant children to number still higher than zero
OTTAWA – Proving once again that the world needs more Canada, Public Safety minister Ralph Goodale has announced we will reduce the number of detained migrant children from ‘way more than you thi…
