OTTAWA – With the NDP struggling in the polls, rumours are swirling that the party may seek to replace current leader Jagmeet Singh with one of their many party officials that combine national name recognition with massive fundraising ability.
“Look all we need is to dump Jagmeet before 2019 and go to our incredibly deep bench of MPs that Canadians know, like and respect,” said party member Heather Larson. “And for that same person to also be able to single handedly turn around our national fundraising infrastructure.”
“Also they have to speak french and be able to quickly unite the party’s environmental wing with pipeline supporting members in Alberta and Saskatchewan,” she added.
The NDP has struggled since Jack Layton and a truly unique set of political circumstances deluded them into believing that they would ever be more than a third party. After ousting Tom Mulcair and choosing Singh, members are now considering replacing him after he made terrible mistakes like losing a Quebec by-election by slightly more than he was supposed to and standing up to an accused sexual harasser.
“We have plenty of options to consider. I mean there is glasses lady or the guy who used to be in a band. Hey is Ed Broadbent still alive?” inquired Lester Desmond.
“Maybe we could get Bob Rae to switch back,” he added.
Even if they do not draw from their current roster of MPs experts agree that the NDP needs a leader who appeals to the blue collar, union worker that has traditionally made up the party’s base as well as the upper middle class Quebecois that helped propel the party to official opposition status in 2011. In other words, as the CBC’s Eric Grenier noted, they “need a white guy.”
At press time Ed Broadbent is in fact still alive.