OTTAWA – While trying to keep Canadians optimistic about his plan for a “one-dose summer”, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is also doing his best to avoid being called out for having already …
National
New law makes it legal to key anti-lockdown protestors’ cars
OTTAWA – The federal government passed a new law this morning making it legal for any Canadian, of any age, to key anti-lockdown protestors’ cars. “Obviously vigilante justice a…
Nation’s slashers applaud decision to reopen summer camps
MONT-LAURIER, QC — After being shuttered last year due to the pandemic, summer camps in several provinces have begun preparations to reopen in anticipation of hosting throngs of excited campers a…
Dissolved Proud Boys rebrand as “Hoity-toity Boys”
OTTAWA – After being designated as a terrorist group by the Canadian government, the Proud Boys have dissolved to rebrand themselves as the “Hoity-toity Boys.” “We are big strong men who do…
Anticipating Bill C-11, nation’s TikTok users try dancing to The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald
OTTAWA – As rumours swirl that the Liberal Government’s Bill C-11 will give the CRTC the power to restrict social media users’ posts for not having enough CanCon, the country…
Proud Boys Canada breaks up so members can pursue white supremacy solo projects
OTTAWA — Tragic! Fans of the far-right neo-fascist group the Proud Boys Canada were deeply saddened to learn this week that the self-styled defenders of Western chauvinism are breaking-up citing …
Conservatives starting to wonder if it’s a mistake to always choose the least likeable person on earth as leader
OTTAWA – Staring down the possibility of their third straight electoral defeat, members of the Conservative Party of Canada are beginning to entertain the notion that it may not be the wise…
“Who are we to say whether you should get the AstraZeneca vaccine or not?” says National Advisory Committee on Immunization
OTTAWA – The National Advisory Committee on Immunization has been accused of causing confusion by telling Canadians they “should do whatever feels right to them” with respect to…
Zoom call with American friends now depressing in the other direction
Richmond, B.C. – A monthly zoom call which previously consisted of Canadian man Jalen Montclair consoling his American friends now consists of his American friends consoling Jalen. “E…
Canada more divided than ever between have-not and have-idiot-premier provinces
OTTAWA – Despite years of equalization payments, a new study has found that there is an increasing divide between the have-not and have-idiot-premier provinces. “The have-nots in our …
