OTTAWA – Employment Minister Pierre Poilievre is denying that he or anyone in the Conservative Party changed the Government of Canada’s logo and remained adamant that it was always like tha…
National
Justin Trudeau tries to avoid looking at portrait of father during annual Parliamentary orgy
OTTAWA – Despite saying he still “enjoyed the experience” and found it “quite rewarding” Liberal leader Justin Trudeau admitted it was a little tough to perform during the annual taxpayer f…
Feeling dead on the inside now a requirement for federal government jobs
OTTAWA – All federal departments and Crown Corporations will now have an added job requirement: feeling completely empty, hopeless and void of human emotion. Treasury Board President Tony C…
Justin Trudeau insists new beard completely unrelated to polls
VANCOUVER – Justin Trudeau arrived to a speaking engagement today with what witnesses say was a kempt, salt-and-pepper beard that gave him an air of maturity he had previously lacked in the…
New Conservative attack ads target each individual Canadian
OTTAWA – The Conservative government has announced plans to amp up their election advertisements by releasing 35 million new attack ads aimed at smearing each living Canadian. “Unfortunatel…
BC wildfires destroy world’s oldest grow-op
PORT ALBERNI – In a development that has many British Columbia residents shocked, a 82-year-old marijuana grow-operation, known affectionately to residents as ‘Old Wheezy’, was destroyed after fi…
PMO event staff ask cameras to leave journalists at the door
OTTAWA – As part of their continued desire to maintain a journalism free zone around the PM, the PMO has announced this week that while cameras may continue to attend the Prime MinisterR…
Air Canada asks for more bomb threats to excuse poor service
TORONTO – After a series of false bomb threats made against WestJet flights, Air Canada is requesting more threats be made against its own aircraft as an alibi for its poor service. “We are…
Stephen Harper slams current government for mishandling economy
OTTAWA – With the 2015 election just around the corner, Stephen Harper has launched a major political offensive, lambasting the current government for its mismanagement of the nation’s fina…
Harper visited by the ghosts of Canada Day past, present, and future
OTTAWA – Earlier today, Prime Minister Stephen Harper held a press conference to announce that he had been visited by the Canada Day spirits of past, present, and future as he tried to slee…
