GRIMSBY, ON – After weeks of extensive investigation the RCMP announced today that they have absolutely no clue how, or why a body was buried six feet under ground, beneath a large stone cross, i…
Local
25-year-old coworker can’t believe you’re 30
MILTON – Sources have confirmed that despite your numerous assurances and even a brief viewing of your driver’s license, Lisa Eaton, your 25-year-old coworker, cannot believe you are 30. “A…
Controversial uncle speaks at Easter dinner
TORONTO – Reports indicate that Uncle Jordan is in the middle of a three hour lecture to the family about his views on political correctness, the rise of the radical left, and dichotomizing…
“I don’t want foreigners bringing their weird traditions to my country,” says man hiding chocolate eggs to honour dead deity
ARBORG, MB – Local man, Edgar Harris, 42, took time out of his annual Easter holiday traditions today to clarify his stance on Canada’s immigration policy, stating that foreigners are ruin…
Man stays up all night trying to decide on which ringtone to wake up to
KINDERSLEY, SK – Reports indicate that local man Marty Hahn spent the entire previous evening attempting to determine which chime or ringtone will wake him up in the morning. “The ‘Day by D…
Study confirming your life is weird and sad passes peer review
Toronto – A study confirming that you lead a bad and pathetic life has passed peer review: even though this has always been obvious, even to the layperson. “Obviously getting publishe…
Woman on vacation wonders how much guilt to unpack
CAYO COCO, CUBA – Mother of three, Tricia Spumante, was eagerly awaiting her much needed vacation at an all inclusive resort when it struck her that she had to unpack all the guilt that was…
REPORT: Roommate actually does have job
TORONTO, ON- A new study finds that your roommate Tad actually does leave the house sometimes, and that he does, in fact, sometimes leave the house to go to work. “Not that it’s any business of y…
Child gets Facebook account to keep tabs on parents
SAINT JOHN, NB – Making sure they’re not getting into any serious trouble, local 13-year-old, Francis Hollander has recently created a Facebook account to keep track of her parent’s activit…
Community not sure about dentist who works from home
Kingston, ON – Community members are searching for a new dentist, now that Dr. Teske has started seeing patients exclusively in his at-home clinic. “Dr. Teske’s a good dentist, …
