BRANDON, MB – Sources are reporting that local senior citizen Morris Nesbit set a record recently in the changing facilities of the Brandon Super Fitness Centre by accomplishing every singl…
Local
Worst person you know buys house
CALGARY – Reports from facebook and mutual friends have confirmed that Matt Wilsher, the person you would most like to see eaten by piranhas or stranded on a desert island, has recently pur…
Local man blissfully unaware he’s picked as kill during every game of Fuck, Marry, Kill
OSHAWA – The game of Fuck, Marry, Kill is a popular social activity where players are presented with three romantic options and must sort them into the titular categories as they see fit. U…
Cat with twenty nicknames having identity crisis
HALIFAX – Cat mom Jenny Harding recently faced a harsh reality of her own making when she realized her cat Fluffy was in the throes of a full-on identity crisis due to having too many nickn…
Yes, nauseous woman is sure she’s not pregnant
TORONTO – In a revelation that shocked many of her male friends and coworkers yesterday, 30-year-old Lisa Rogers assured anyone who would listen that the nausea she was experiencing was due…
Man with unpopular opinion deploys new tactic of yelling a bit louder
Mississauga, ON – In the throes of a heated argument at a birthday brunch, local man Dennis Richardson found his ignorant, ill-formed, and unpopular opinions were not being given the proper…
Man microdosing LSD macrodoses talking about it
HALIFAX – Local man Gregory Neiman has begun taking small amounts of LSD at regular intervals in order to boost creativity and productivity, while at the same time taking large amounts of t…
Terrible time capsule buried by previous homeowners just contains dog bones
EDMONTON — When you move into a new home, you’re bound to come across a few forgotten treasures. Jenny Weber and her family weren’t so lucky when they discovered a time capsule in their recently …
Panicked uncle handles sleeping baby like old-timey crate of nitroglycerin
Woodstock, NB – Local uncle Grant Newsten, 32, has been reported by witnesses to be handling his newborn niece, Amelia Newsten, as if she is a rickety and highly explosive crate of long-aba…
Unemployed man thinks hockey player lacks hustle
LETHBRIDGE, AB – During a hockey game Tuesday, local unemployed man Gareth Krag became quite outspoken about the lack of hustle shown by players on both teams. Over the 3 hour broadcast, he…
