Jordan Peterson has once again lost his appeal of the College Of Psychologists’ Order that he take mandatory social media training or risk losing his license for making degrading statements…
Health
Court declares Jordan Peterson has to take “how not to be an asshole” class
TORONTO – The Court of Appeal for Ontario has rejected noted psychologist and asshole Jordan Peterson’s attempt to avoid attending an anti-assholery class required by the College of Psychol…
Man uses remainder of year’s health benefits on half-a-dozen vasectomies
VICTORIA – Management consultant Howard Bear is using up the remainder of his yearly workplace medical benefits at his local vasectomy clinic, according to local sources. “I don’t really enjoy ac…
Aunt Ruth regifts you COVID infection you gave her last year
CALGARY – Reports indicate that Aunt Ruth has decided to get into the festive spirit this Christmas by regifting you the COVID infection you gave her last year. “Normally, I’m not a fan of regift…
Asshole overusing perfume has temerity to be offended at you holding your nose
GATINEAU, QC ― For reasons unknown to civil society, the jackass who just got off a crowded elevator cloaked in a cloud of vile, sickly-sweet toxic gas with a five-meter radius thinks that you’re…
Expensive therapist makes higher quality “mmmm” sounds
VANCOUVER — Demand for professional counsellor Lorraine Novak has skyrocketed, thanks to her ability to make particularly empathetic “mmmm” sounds while her clients blab about their miserable liv…
In event of cabin pressure change, air Canada instructs passengers to secure own mask before 360 roundhouse kicking the person next to them
THE SKY – Air Canada has recently released an update to their on-board safety procedures where, in the event of a cabin pressure change, they’re now instructing passengers to 360 roundhouse…
Liberals support gender affirming surgery provided trans people can find a doctor
OTTAWA – After the Conservative Party Convention passed resolutions seeking to limit transgender healthcare, the Liberal Party proudly restated their support for gender affirming surgery so…
Opinion: Why do we need a cure for diabetes when I don’t have it?
Brandon, Manitoba – Millions of Canadians live with diabetes, and the Government of Canada has spent billions on diabetes research and treatment. But here’s what I don’t understand: Why do we nee…
REPORT: Ignoring suffering of others linked to optimism
CALGARY, AB – A recent study out of the University of Alberta has come to the startling conclusion that ignoring the suffering of others is linked to having an optimistic view of life. When…