MONTREAL – In a move designed to break down the wall between performers and their audience, the hipster clichés in Arcade Fire have announced that their fans will have to dress up as hipste…
Culture
Report: Hanukkah is 8 days long to allow for alternate spellings
NEW YORK – Judaism’s oldest mystery was solved on Wednesday when the Rabbinical Council revealed that Hanukkah is 8 days long to accommodate all of the holiday’s potential english spellings…
Study: 100% of restaurants know you’re ordering the second cheapest wine on a first date
NEW YORK – It’s your first date, you’ve dressed up, thought of nonchalantly witty things to say, and, according to a new report from the Center for Mating and Hospitality, you’re about to o…
Meth dealer this year’s most popular costume for under 13s
New Glasgow, NS — All hallow’s eve is looking to be bathed in a sea of yellow hazmat suits and bowler hats as the most sought after costume for children 13-and-under is a meth dealer.…
Everyone you hate is excited about the Entourage movie
CANADA – A brief look over your social media platforms has confirmed that everyone you find personally repellent is looking forward to the movie spinoff of the TV show Entourage. “Bro, Siii…
Caught up in hype campaign for ‘Reflektor’, Arcade Fire realizes they forgot to record an album
MONTREAL – Arcade Fire’s lead singer Win Butler has admitted that the hype campaign in the lead up to his band’s latest album, “Reflektor”, was so intense that they didn’t have time to rec…
Chris Hadfield ejected from movie theatre for loudly heckling Gravity
WATERLOO, ON – Responding to numerous patron complaints, the staff of the Empire Theatres Waterloo reportedly removed famed Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield after he would not stop heckling a sc…
After 40 years Steve Miller admits no one ever called him the Gangster of Love
Friday Harbour, Washington – At a press conference in front of his home legendary singer and blues guitarist Steve Miller admitted that, despite the claim in his famous song ‘The Joker’ no …
Doctor Who fans celebrate release of long lost unwatchable episodes
Following the discovery of several 1960’s era Doctor Who tapes previously thought destroyed, Who fans are eagerly awaiting the release of the dated and plodding episodes that will undoubtedly be …
