LONDON — In the wake of discussions about how the popular fantasy saga Game of Thrones can maintain profitability as more and more viewers choose to illegally download rather than pay to view the…
Culture
123 Sesame Street torn down to make way for condos
SESAME STREET – Referring to the iconic location as an “eyesore”, Vancouver-based developers have announced plans to tear down 123 Sesame Street and replace it with a pair of 40-storey luxu…
New ‘Star Wars’ film casts Hollywood newcomer Mark Hamill
LOS ANGELES – Lucasfilm has released a photo from a recent table read of the new Stars Wars script, revealing the new leads to be John Boyega, Adam Driver, Daisy Ridley, and exciting unknow…
Report: ‘Hello Kitty’ actually best possible outcome of Kroeger/Lavigne collaboration
TORONTO – According to a recent study from the University of Toronto Faculty of Music, Avril Lavigne’s derided single “Hello Kitty” is, “when you think about it, literally the best thing th…
Christians celebrate sacred resurrection of church attendance
PORT COLBORNE, ON – Millions of Christians across the world from all sects are celebrating the miraculous resurrection of church attendance today. Pews were packed with the reluctant faithf…
Local pulp mill improves matzah recipe
DRYDEN – After hearing numerous complaints, a pulp mill in Dryden, Ontario has decided to amend its method of manufacturing matzah bread on the eve of the Passover holiday. The Dryden Mill, which…
Stephen Colbert named new guy who older married couples fall asleep to
NEW YORK – CBS has announced that Stephen Colbert will take over for David Letterman as their flagship guy who puts married upper middle class Americans to sleep every night. “I look forwar…
Lars von Trier offended by critics describing his work as ‘a movie’
LONDON – During a press junket on Monday director Lars von Trier expressed anger and annoyance in response to critics referring to his latest work with belittling words like “movie,” “film,…
Revelers celebrate Irish holiday with American music, Mexican food
CANADA – Party goers across the country are marking the holiday dedicated to the patron saint of Ireland by enjoying food, drink, and activities that do not originate from the island of rou…
