LOS ANGELES – Communist and notorious eater of human babies Drake, made headlines today when he announced over Twitter his decision to no longer do interviews due to the misinterpretation o…
Culture
La Poutine Week: Most popular dishes
Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa and Quebec City will be hosting La Poutine Week from February 1st until the 7th. Here are some of the more popular dishes being served: Poutini 5 parts french fries, 3 p…
Fabio announces plans to not stand shirtless on a mountaintop
MILAN – In a startling career move, the Italian model, spokesman and actor Fabio Lanzoni announced earlier today that his next project would be to not stand topless on the peak of a mountai…
Reader surprised to discover Hemingway’s ‘Farewell to Arms’ not about author’s loss of limbs
Surrey, BC – Readers everywhere were shocked when they realized that Ernest Hemingway’s classic war novel A Farewell to Arms was not about the graphic loss of the author’s limbs. “A l…
Americans celebrate their version of The Junos
LOS ANGELES, CA – The American counterpart to Canada’s largest music industry awards show celebrated their best-and-brightest stars Sunday evening, with a gala event that rivals even the gl…
Tarantino scraps film after leaked screenplay reveals movie involves revenge
HOLLYWOOD — Writer and director Quentin Tarantino recently announced that he no longer intends to produce his upcoming western film, Hateful Eight, after a major leak revealed that the movie will…
Batman vs. Superman movie pushed back to 2016 because it’s going so awesome
HOLLYWOOD – A spokesperson for Warner Brothers announced this week that the planned sequel to “Man Of Steel” would have its release date postponed by a year, purely because the project was …
TED Talk solves third world hunger in first world
BRAMPTON – Attendees left last Saturday’s TEDxBrampton event inspired by John McGeorge’s innovative four-point synergistical plan to solve third world hunger in the first world. In a 12 min…
Local jewish man drives Hummer 3 blocks to celebrate miraculous oil conservation
THORNHILL – When Samuel Rosen’s mother guilt-tripped him into attending the last night of Hanukkah, he reluctantly got into his Hummer and drove the 256 metres to her house. Asked by his mildly e…
Study: If young people want jobs, they should just be middle-aged
VICTORIA, BC – A recent study by the Baby Boom Institute has confirmed that the only obstacle facing young people who seek employment is their own refusal to be middle-aged people. “Our res…
