HOLLYWOOD – After waking up well into the afternoon, Academy Award-winner Leonardo DiCaprio has spent the last hour on the phone with the coat check clerk from the Vanity Fair afterparty af…
Culture
Office Oscar Pool just fucking demolished by Maureen from accounting
FREDERICTON – Reports are flooding in that the MacIntosh & Carter Law Offices informal Oscar pool was straight up annihilated last night by accounts payable manager Maureen Petrie, 52. …
Canadians banned from Wheel of Fortune for calling the letter ‘Zed’
LOS ANGELES – Sony Productions has announced that Canadians will no longer be allowed on long-running American game show Wheel of Fortune due to irreconcilable cultural differences regardin…
Bald eagle wins America’s Got Talons for ninth straight season
NEW YORK – In a completely unsurprising development, Iggy, a 10-year-old bald eagle from a mangrove swamp in Florida, has once again emerged triumphant in the latest season of America’s Got…
Pixar unveils next movie: two-hour, uninterrupted shot of a kitten’s funeral
LOS ANGELES – In a bold move that has stunned film enthusiasts, animation juggernaut Pixar announced its next major release will simply be one long take of the funeral of a family’s cherish…
JK Rowling announces 2016 release of new Harry Potter book “The Costly Beachside Villa”
SAINT TROPEZ, FRANCE – Author JK Rowling surprised fans Harry Potter this week with the announcement of a 2016 release for the 8th installment of her beloved series, entitled “The Costly Beachsid…
Ghomeshi witness discredited while being attacked by Ghomeshi on the stand
TORONTO – The third woman to testify in the Jian Ghomeshi sexual assault trial has had her testimony discredited, this time while being allegedly choked by the former CBC radio star while o…
HASBRO: Rey excluded from ‘Star Wars Monopoly’ to avoid spoiling scene where she buys railroad
PAWTUCKET – Bowing to public pressure, toy giant Hasbro will introduce a game piece of the character Rey into their latest version of Star Wars Monopoly, claiming the female protagonist had origi…
Elaborate conspiracy to underpay Gillian Anderson for X-Files reboot revealed to be just ordinary sexism
HOLLYWOOD – Following revelations that Fox attempted to pay X-Files star Gillian Anderson half the salary of her male co-star, what many had assumed to be a shadowy conspiracy stretching to…
Viral video: ultra orthodox Jews touch crustaceans for the first time
NEW YORK — A video showing a group of ultra orthodox Jews touching crabs, lobsters, shrimp and oysters for the first time is going viral worldwide. The website that produced the five minute…
