SAN FRANCISCO – New start-up streaming service WatchThis (short for Why Did My Parents Let Me Watch This) promises all the nostalgia you can stomach by featuring movies you loved as a kid t…
Culture
#TBT to the time you first heard Louis C.K. was a sexual predator!
OMG! It’s finally happened. After years of… let’s call them “rumours” – at least five women have come forward to say that Louis C.K. abused his position of power to whip it out and start ma…
Nation races to watch their favourite artists’ work before they’re revealed to be sexual predators too
Are you motivated enough to sit through all of Horace and Pete?…
Local woman has hundreds of facebook statuses ready to go for celebrities yet to die
CRANBROOK, BC – Claiming “you can’t be too prepared”, local woman Lori Patel revealed this week that she has mournful Facebook statuses ready to go for the upcoming deaths of hundreds of ce…
As male filmmakers are sidelined by scandal, Hollywood turns to films directed by boys
LOS ANGELES – The increasing number of male directors embroiled in sexual harassment and abuse scandals has threatened to shut down all film production in Hollywood, leaving studios in a state of…
Netflix finds Kevin Spacey too morally deficient to play Frank Underwood
LOS GATOS, CA – After years starring as Frank Underwood, Netflix has announced it is ending production of House of Cards, one of its most popular series, following historical allegations th…
Society ready to hate nerds again
THE WHOLE WORLD – Citing factors such as Young Sheldon, GamerGate, and the fact that Star Wars gets crammed down our collective throats every goddamn Christmas now, society as a whole has a…
Marketing campaign for Thor: Ragnarok gets out of hand after giant wolf eats the sun
BURBANK, CA – Marvel Studios have issued an apology for inadvertently triggering the real Ragnarök with the marketing campaign for the latest installment in the Thor franchise. “I want to b…
Experts warn against participating in #asbestoschallenge
OTTAWA, ON- Following a recent survey of medical research, a panel of scientists have discovered that the ‘asbestos challenge’ currently trending on social media is not the harmless f…
Local man replaces entire personality with things he’s heard on podcasts
EDMONTON – After years of constantly listening to podcasts and judiciously keeping himself from any real world experience, local man Jacob Spoots has replaced every facet of his personality…
