CALGARY – With his firm forgoing plans for the usual Christmas party this year due to the current pandemic, paralegal Will Sanchez is worried that he will have nowhere to disgrace himself i…
Business
Black Friday shoppers prepare for outdoor bloodbath this year
CANADA – With the COVID-19 pandemic forcing retail locations across the country to limit the number of customers inside, many shoppers hoping to take advantage of Black Friday deals are get…
Woman’s opinion about to get some really good traction after this guy says it
VANCOUVER – Local copywriter Robert Strong just made a huge contribution to the meeting by repeating a brilliant observation made by the only other woman in the group earlier when no one wa…
Comedy industry not sure if it can survive without physical location for sexual predators to thrive
New York, NY – With the closure of more and more comedy clubs and improv theatres due to COVID-19, many experts are wondering whether the industry can survive without brick and mortar space…
Study: 90% of Canadians unable to say name Fabricland without immediately repeating it faster and louder
TORONTO – A new study by the University of Toronto has found that, thanks to radio and tv jingles, the vast majority of Canadians are unable to say the name of cloth merchant Fabricland wit…
Pizza Pizza to start delivering gross slice you only buy because it’s 2am and you’re drunk
TORONTO – With COVID restrictions cutting into their customer base of ‘people who wandered in drunk because they recognized the orange sign’ Pizza Pizza has announced that they …
MEC reassures customers they’ll still charge $800 per sleeping bag
VANCOUVER – Leadership at the Mountain Equipment Co-op have reassured members that, despite being sold to a US investment firm, they will still charge $800 for a sleeping bag you’ll never u…
Restaurants require female servers to wear skimpier face masks
TORONTO – Restaurants across the GTA are enforcing a new dress code on its female servers obliging them to wear face masks that are tighter and reveal more skin. The new “face thongs” revea…
Single-ply toilet paper industry saved by school re-openings
WINNIPEG – After being dealt a blow by the pandemic-related closures of offices and public washrooms, single-ply toilet paper manufacturers are pinning their recovery to the re-opening of t…
Tooth Fairy e-transfers kid in quarantine 25 cents
PICKERING – The Tooth Fairy, unable to be physically present to exchange baby teeth for loose change due to COVID protocols, has instead sent an e-transfer of 25 cents to Billy McIntosh, ag…
