VANCOUVER – When confronted by Canadian authorities this morning regarding reports that it had been seen smoking in massive quantities throughout the week, British Columbia sheepishly mumbl…
British Columbia
Vancouver experiencing severe Mothman infestation
VANCOUVER – The Lower Mainland is witnessing an explosive increase in the area’s Mothman population, with experts calling it the largest cryptid infestation they’ve seen in deca…
BC’s top doc: “This is why we can’t have nice things”
VICTORIA – An exhausted Dr. Bonnie Henry has reminded 5 million residents of British Columbia that this is why they can’t have nice things. “I’d expect this kind of behaviour from Alberta o…
RCMP: Exclusion zones necessary to protect Canadian public from dangers of rampant journalism
UNCEDED WET’SUWET’EN TERRITORY – Following a pre-dawn raid to remove Indigenous occupants from several camps in northern B.C. today, the RCMP is defending its practice of removing journalis…
Vancouver millionaires rally to support spinning chandelier
VANCOUVER – In response to a widening controversy over the installation of a $4.8-million spinning chandelier under a bridge while the city is experiencing a homelessness crisis, Vancouver …
B.C. government says millions in subsidies necessary to prevent fracking industry from packing up natural gas deposits and leaving
VICTORIA – Responding to a report finding the B.C. provincial government gave $663 million in subsidies to natural gas producers last year, Premier John Horgan is adamant that these subsidi…
BC Parks adds volunteer firefighting to list of fun family campground activities
PRINCE GEORGE, BC – Members of the BC Parks Service are preparing to heat things up as they implement volunteer firefighting as an option to their camp activity calendar. “Families these da…
Only person not laundering money in casino loses another hand of poker
VANCOUVER – Early reports indicate that the only guy in a casino not laundering money has lost yet another round of Texas Holdem. 36-year-old Jack Hugen’s initial strategy of playing fewer …
Breaking: Cat unimpressed
KAMLOOPS, BC – After several alarming reports, we can now confirm that the Jacobs family house cat, Jojo, is not having any of it. “He won’t eat, he won’t respond to his name. He’s just kind of s…
Trudeau promises “best ever” reconciliation speech after RCMP break down Indigenous barricade for pipeline
HOUSTON, B.C. — As the RCMP arrested 14 people at the Gidimt’en camp, which is blocking access for pipeline construction, Prime Minister Trudeau pledged that his reconciliation speech…
