CALGARY – After weeks of denial, Jason Kenney has changed tack and is not only leaning into the allegations that he committed fraud to win the UCP leadership race in 2017, but is questionin…
Alberta
Kenney vows to personally strangle every BC resident
CALGARY – UCP leader Jason Kenney says that he’s willing to personally murder all 5 million residents of British Columbia with his bare hands if the BC provincial government does not approv…
POLL: 100 percent of Albertans believe province will be ruined if those assholes win the election
RED DEER, AB – A new poll has revealed that every single Albertan thinks the province will go to shit if those assholes win the upcoming election. The April 16th vote promises to be a showd…
UCP considers dropping requirement that all its candidates have experience spreading hate on social media
EDMONTON – A second UCP candidate has pulled out of the provincial election due to hateful social media posts and the UCP is starting to wonder if their insistence that candidates have a hi…
Alberta election called, voters face stark choice between environmental devastation and environmental devastation with slightly better schools
CALGARY – Premier Rachel Notley has announced the Alberta provincial election will take place on April 16, tasking Albertans with choosing between a party promising to destroy the environme…
Edmonton expected to get hit with 10 cm of Oilers jerseys tonight
EDMONTON – Environment Canada has issued a special weather advisory for the Edmonton area which is expected to receive up to 10 cm of Edmonton Oilers jerseys from disillusioned fans tonight…
‘Yes, I am Jason’s mother,’ says wig-wearing Kenney opening the door to allowance-claimed retirement residence
CALGARY – Journalists who visited the residency claimed by UPC Leader Jason Kenney for a housing allowance found a man who suspiciously resembled Jason Kenney wearing a wig and a night gown…
Train carrying fresh water derails, contaminating Alberta’s oil sands
FORT MCMURRAY, AB – A freight train carrying over 50,000 litres of fresh water has derailed, devastating several open pit mines and tailing ponds in the Fort McMurray area. No injuries were…
Yellow vests in Canada: ‘We’re not racist if you ignore the things we say and do’
EDMONTON – Setting the record straight, members of the populist yellow vest movement are claiming that they are tolerant and respectful if you ignore what they have been saying and doing. “…
Notley to cut 8.7% of the Edmonton Oilers
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Rachel Notley announced that she would be cutting 8.7% of the Edmonton Oilers. Citing the team’s overall poor performance for the past two seasons, Notley said th…
