5 reasons why bailing out rich Vancouver condo developers with taxpayer money is what the free market is all about, by Mark Carney
Good afternoon, taxpayers of Canada. It is me, Mark Carney, your Definitely Liberal Prime Minister. I hope that you are all having a wonderful, fiscally profitable day. My secretary told me this …
RFK Jr: Women who don’t shave their pits cause autism
WASHINGTON D.C. – United States Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has declared that women who don’t shave their armpits cause autism. “Finally, after years of hard work…
Mark Carney named next UK Prime Minister
LONDON – In the wake of Keir Starmer’s resignation as PM, Labour Party officials have announced a plan to select Canada’s Mark Carney as party leader and Prime Minister. “…
Complex man hates bikes when he’s driving, hates cars when he’s biking
MONTREAL, QC — There’s more to Brent Taylor, 34, than meets the eye. Capable of hating bikes when he’s driving and hating cars when he’s biking, he may be one of the most intriguing men alive. At…
Danielle Smith offers Albertans $100 rebates after spinning giant policy wheel again
EDMONTON — Premier Danielle Smith has announced that many Albertans will receive a $100 energy rebate after listening to her closest advisor, a big wheel of policy ideas she keeps in her office c…
Hockey Night In Canada moves from CBC to Rogers; Canadian Cultural Identity reduced to butter tarts, Eugene Levy
OTTAWA – With CBC losing the rights to air Hockey Night In Canada, meaning fans must now pay to watch it on Rogers Sportsnet, the entirety of Canadian culture now consists solely of butter …
Everything you need to know about Trump’s Iran deal
The details of Trump’s Memorandum Of Understanding with Iran have finally been released. Here is everything you need to know. 1. The deal is a 14 point plan, one point for every time Trump …
Local man willing to overlook the military-industrial complex for two hours to enjoy Top Gun
OWEN SOUND – In an age where the concept of the guilty pleasure currently reigns supreme, just how far is the average citizen willing to go with that guilt? This week, an exclusive interview with…
“I miss my ex” says woman who misses ex’s cat
MEDICINE HAT, AB – A local woman who claims to miss her ex-boyfriend really just misses her ex’s pet cat. “He was always so warm and affectionate, you know?” said Isabelle Lang, staring wistfully…
Trump successfully diverted to inflatable decoy G7
ÉVIAN, FRANCE – The 2026 G7 summit has thus far yielded successful talks between the world’s top leaders, largely due to US President Donald Trump being tricked early on into joining …
