OTTAWA – Following sexual harassment allegations against two Liberal MPs and subsequent questions over the House of Commons’ lack of protocol to deal with them, male MPs made sure to reassu…
White guy at party doesn’t need blackface to prove he’s racist
ST. CATHARINES – A local Caucasian man feels no need to make an effort by wearing blackface at a costume party to prove that he is a bigot. “What a bunch of amateurs,” Daniel Ivor, 21, mutt…
Manitoba Premier now accepting applications for Finance Minister on Craigslist
WINNIPEG – After the resignation of five cabinet ministers in protest, Manitoba Premier Greg Selinger is attracting the very best replacements with job advertisements on Craigslist. The onl…
Local insomniac having hard time appreciating end to daylight savings
PERTH, ON – Local insomniac Evan Sampson is having difficulty appreciating the end of Daylight Savings time, which grants him an additional hour in his day. “Why?” asked a visib…
Study: Most Canadians can’t name all 9 provinces
A study released today showed 93% of Canadians could not name all 9 Canadian provinces and 2 territories. The study, by Ipos-Reid, struck some observers as worrying. “When only 27% of peopl…
Income splitting to help struggling wealthy family buy another BMW
RICHMOND HILL – The Harper government’s plan to permit married couples with children to split their earnings for a higher tax savings will help a disadvantaged family struggling to buy anot…
CBC Execs: Four sexual assaults is one too many
TORONTO – At a press conference today CBC executives announced that Jian Ghomeshi was fired after it was revealed that up to four women have accused him of sexual assault or sexual harassme…
Toronto elects first white male mayor in four years
TORONTO – After an historical election, Toronto has chosen its first wealthy, white male mayor in nearly half a decade. “I thought I would never see this day,” said a teary eyed business ex…
John Tory strategically votes for John Tory
TORONTO – Toronto mayoral candidate John Tory has chosen not to vote for his first choice for mayor and voted for himself instead. “It was a tough decision, but we can’t afford another four…
Government reassures Muslim Canadians they will not be treated like Aboriginals
TORONTO – In the wake of two terrorist attacks within one week, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has reassured the Muslim community that the government will not take away their rights as they …
