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Underemployed ESL teachers increasingly seek work underseas
PACIFIC OCEAN – A dwindling market for English language instruction overseas is forcing many unemployed English as a second language (ESL) teachers to seek work underseas, where new job opp…
Canada issues apology
NEW YORK – A Canadian representative issued an apology on behalf of Canada at a recent United Nations General Assembly meeting. The representative stood up during a heated discussion concer…
China loans Canada two giant pandas
In what is being described as ‘Panda diplomacy,’ The People’s Republic of China has agreed to loan Canada two giant pandas – at a cost of $10 million – as a symbol of goodwill and the…
Our city needs to bind together and do something about the issue currently making headlines
By Catherine Del Pierro Today I would like to write about something that desperately needs all of our attention. Our city has neglected this matter for too long, whatever it is. Yes, it’s time fo…
Master farter confused by constant rejection
MILTON, ON – Gifted tooter Josh Bibby expressed displeasure today at his inability to find a “nice girl,” despite his painstakingly-honed ability to fart on command. “I’ve tried online dati…
Report: Smoking still kinda cool if smoker attractive
BALTIMORE, MD – Researchers from the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine published a report earlier this week which finds that smoking is still kinda cool, provided the smoker in question is attract…
Dog finally fucking sits when company over
WINNIPEG – Local pet owner Ricky Blinkin shocked friends and co-workers at his house party last Friday when, in a Herculean Feat, he managed to get his miniature schnauzer, Sigfried, to actually …
