TORONTO – Local student Jeff Saunders impressed friends at his Beverley St. apartment when he moved a 340 lbs solid oak bunk bed from one side of his room to the other, sources reported las…
Community rallies to save $9 million cocaine factory
LOS PALOS BLANCO, VENEZUELA – The atmosphere was unusually somber today in Los Palos Blanco, a small Venezuelan community located just hours from Caracas. The normally bustling town was hit…
Man finally watches The Shawshank Redemption
VANCOUVER – To the relief of his friends and colleagues, local man Brett Kraftson finally watched the iconic film The Shawshank Redemption earlier this week. Kraftson finally takes the time…
Local bachelor unreasonably proud of keeping house plant alive
VANCOUVER – Local bachelor Louie Kaplansky expressed extreme pride this week, when he successfully managed not to kill a cactus he recently acquired. “I usually don’t do well with living things,”…
Heroic battle against cancer cut short by recovery
A woman’s courageous battle against cancer was cut short due to a speedy recovery, hospital doctors reported yesterday. “She’s healing quicker than expected,” explained Dr. Teeple of his patient,…
Otherwise normal colleague has only 26 Facebook friends
CALGARY, AB – Brad Henshaw, a 28-year-old outgoing staff member of a large market research firm, has only 26 Facebook friends – a number that suggests “There is something deeply wrong…
Most boring diary ever kept hidden away like it was some sort of fucking gem, reports disappointed mother
KINGSTON, ON – The discovery of 15-year-old Stacey Bradenham’s very secret diary has proven disappointing for the Bradenhams, sources from the family report. “I was pretty excited at first,…
