OTTAWA – As aggressive right-wing, anti-vax protestors continue to scream obscenities and shout at staff during Trudeau rallies, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole has called their beha…
Trudeau asks Governor General to declare election takesies backsies
OTTAWA – As the Conservative Party surges in the polls, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has asked Governor General Mary Simon to revoke the election writ that dropped two weeks ago, invoking …
Anti-vaxxer demands you produce a single study showing mRNA vaccines are safe – no not that one
TORONTO – Clayton Bach, a local man who believes that the Pfizer and Moderna COVID vaccines are incredibly dangerous has demanded you produce a single study showing they are safe, but not t…
Liberals: “A vote for the NDP is a vote for Harper…I mean Scheer…I mean O’Toole”
OTTAWA – As the federal election campaign enters week two, the Liberals are once again reminding Canadians that voting for the NDP will only help the scary Conservative Party leader, whoeve…
Highlights of the Conservatives’ election platform
The Conservative Party of Canada released their 162 page 2021 election platform yesterday. Unfortunately few people have been able to stop laughing at the cover long enough to read it. But have n…
Government employee quits, demands new 4 year contract
OTTAWA – Despite being just 2 years into a 4 year contract, local civil servant Justin Trudeau abruptly resigned on Sunday, and then simultaneously demanded a brand new 4 year contract. …
I’m not an anti-vaxxer, I’m just refusing to get a life-saving vaccine during a global pandemic
By: Lyle Vucevic Every time the media describes the thousands of unvaccinated Canadians they talk about us like we are all absurd granola crunching hippies or right-wing Qanon truthers. And frank…
Maclean’s Curse strikes again
WINNIPEG – With Jason Kenney resigning, another victim has fallen to the might of the Maclean’s Resistance Cover curse. “I knew when Andrew and Brian went down that the rest of …
Quebec man who supported banning hijabs thinks vaccine passports are a violation of his personal freedom
MONTREAL – Local man Michelle Savard, who thinks Bill 21 did not go far enough to prevent Muslim women and other religious minorities from dressing how they choose, believes that the recent…
Meet the unvaccinated: This 33 year old mom is a real fucking idiot
With about 10% of the population saying they will not get vaccinated against the deadly COVID-19 virus, we here at The Beaverton have decided to follow every other media outlet in Canada and do o…
