LAS VEGAS – The Golden knights won the Stanley Cup last night, proving once and for all that, in a salary cap league, a team that blatantly exceeds the salary cap will usually be better tha…
“So I can’t wish people a ‘Happy Canada Day’ anymore?” asks man who has literally never done that
Bradford, ON – Local man Gerry Framer is outraged that the collective reckoning over whether Canada is a country that deserves to be celebrated in light of the atrocities we have committed …
Report: you can still get drunk and enjoy day off without it being in honour of Canada
OTTAWA – A new report has found that, despite what the media and your uncle claim, it is still possible to get drunk and enjoy July 1st without it being in honour of the country responsible…
Toronto fans confident Leafs would be going to finals if they had beaten Habs, weren’t embarrassing joke of franchise
TORONTO – As the Montreal Canadiens and their fans celebrate their Cinderella run to the Stanley Cup Finals, disappointed Leafs fans are confident that they would also have made it that far…
John Tory defends ruthlessly evicting Unhoused people from parks: “Toronto belongs to the rich”
TORONTO – Under fire for sending in hundreds of armed police and private security to evict 25 unhoused people from an encampment in Trinity Bellwoods Park, mayor John Tory defended his acti…
Man gets away with murder after eyewitness turns out to be NHL referee
MONTREAL – A homicide has gone unsolved after the eyewitness who was right there turned out to be an NHL referee, and therefore somehow missed the entire thing. “He was standing right…
Ontario vaccination drive first ever government health campaign to succeed in spite of government
TORONTO – As the percentage of Ontarians receiving their second dose increases dramatically, researchers are hailing the event as the first ever government run health campaign to succeed de…
Doug Ford invokes second notwithstanding clause making it illegal to criticize him for invoking notwithstanding clause
TORONTO – After using the notwithstanding clause to pass a bill designed to stop teachers’ and nurses’ unions from running ads criticizing him, Doug Ford and the Ontario PCs hav…
Side effects of trying to book a shot using Ontario’s vaccination system worse than side effects of the vaccines
TORONTO – According to research by Health Canada, the health side effects of trying to book a vaccine appointment using Ontario’s vaccine registration portal are actually worse for yo…
Ford invokes Notwithstanding Clause to prevent people from pointing out what a fucking piece of shit he is
TORONTO – Doug Ford invoked the Notwithstanding Clause yesterday in order to pass an unconstitutional bill restricting outside parties from telling voters what an absolute piece of shit he …
