OTTAWA – After spending a week flip flopping over whether he would repeal the Liberal government’s assault weapons ban, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole is now saying that Canadians should learn to embrace the ambiguity.
“Will my government allow Canadians to own the kind of weapons used in our worst massacres? Who knows,” said O’Toole, wearing a tie-dye t-shirt and burning sage. “But why even worry about that. Let’s live in the moment baby.”
“There are probably infinite universes operating parallel to ours at any given moment. Realities where life is just like ours, only a little bit different. And in some of those realities we do maintain the assault rifle ban, and in some we don’t. Does that answer your question?”
O’Toole says he understands Canadians like politicians to be specific when talking about their policies towards the environment, the economy or foreign affairs. But when it comes to the Ruger Mini-14 or CZ Scorpion EVO 3 “that’s where things can be a bit groovy.”
“Choosing whether or not to stop Canadians from owning weapons designed for warfare isn’t a science. It’s an art.”
O’Toole then presented reporters with a painting he made that he said would reveal the Conservatives gun control plan in time.