The Freedom Convoy is back everyone! After making Ottawa the most exciting place to have racial slurs screamed at you back in February, they are planning to return to protest on Canada Day. But s…
US Supreme Court rules women have no right to abortion because fetus could grow up to be gun owner
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a 5-4 decision the U.S. Supreme Court reversed Roe v. Wade yesterday, holding that women could not be allowed to have abortions because some of the babies would likely …
Lightning devastated to learn Refs can work against them too
Tampa Bay, FL – In the wake of Nazem Kadri’s game winning goal for the Avalanche in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup finals being allowed despite the Avs having too many men on the ice, Tamp…
Dad who always insists his family get to the airport six hours early grateful his time has come
Whitby, ON – Local father Winston Brown, who has always insisted his family arrive at Toronto Pearson airport no less than 6 hours before their flight’s scheduled departure time, took…
“If gas prices are hurting your wallet so bad, why don’t you just buy a $45,000.00 electric car?” asks very helpful friend
Timmins, ON – After you mentioned how gas prices were making it impossible for you to get by financially, your very helpful and knowledgeable friend Darren suggested buying an expensive ele…
Report: Team that lost in 7 to Stanley Cup finalist must be blown up, team that lost in 4 to other finalist in great shape
DENVER – As the Stanley Cup Finals kicks off in Denver hockey experts agree that the Edmonton Oilers, who were swept by the finalist Avs, are ready to make a great run next year while the T…
Right-Wingers confident they have finally found the twitter hashtag that gets Trudeau to resign
OTTAWA – Right-wingers across the country are confident that, despite all previous 8,327 trending twitter hashtags failing to convince Justin Trudeau to resign, this next one will be the on…
Trudeau assures Canadians that airports will be fine once rampant inflation makes flying prohibitively expensive
OTTAWA – Seeking to ease Canadians fears that our airports are becoming chaotic hellscapes, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau promised that soon inflation will make travelling so expensive that…
Gary Bettman unveils route for this year’s ‘No Canadian Team Won The Cup’ victory parade
NEW YORK CITY – Smiling widely, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman showed reporters where the victory parade would be for his annual celebration of denying Canadian teams a Stanley Cup once agai…
Strung out province comes crawling back to Dealer for another hit
TORONTO – After swearing they were done with him and everything he offers, the province of Ontario has come crawling back to its dealer for another taste. “Hey man! You holding any hi…
