OTTAWA – U.S. Ambassador Pete Hoekstra has vowed to improve anti-American sentiment he sees in Canada, no matter how many illegal tariffs, forced annexations, or literal bombs it takes to d…
Robert Munsch announces he will choose MAID program, also even sadder new ending to “Love You Forever”
GUELPH, ON – Canadian children’s author Robert Munsch announced this week that he he has chosen a medically assisted death because of his dementia diagnosis, as well as writing an upd…
Putin assures world no one evil has ever tried to invade Poland
MOSCOW – After Russian drones were intercepted inside Polish airspace, Russian President Vladimir Putin issued a statement assuring the world that no evil person throughout history has ever…
Doug Ford tells young job seekers “try inheriting your daddy’s sticker factory”
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is telling unemployed young job seekers to “Look harder” for label manufacturing companies that they can inherit, or failing that,…
Poilievre demands Carney scrap Temporary Foreign Worker program so Conservatives can quietly reinstate it
OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre is demanding the TFW program be scrapped, in order for him to ride a wave of public resentment over immigrant labour into the Prime Minister’s office before …
Carney hoping Canadians too busy applying for jobs to notice skyrocketing unemployment numbers
OTTAWA – In the wake of a jobs report showing the national economy lost 66,000 in August alone, Prime Minister is hoping that Canadians will be too preoccupied with filling out online job a…
Carney cancels invite for Project 2025 mastermind, wants fascist takeover of Canada to be more of a surprise
OTTAWA – A planned reception for the architect of Project 2025 – the infamous policy blueprint for the Trump Administration – has been cancelled because Mark Carney wants the pl…
SNL casts Canadian provided she can evade ICE at border
NEW YORK – Sketch comedy institution Saturday Night Live has announced the addition of its first new Canadian cast member in decades, Veronika Slowikowska, contingent on her not being captu…
Canadians paralyzed by choice on what movie to watch to remember Graham Greene
OTTAWA – Following the death of iconic Canadian First Nations actor Graham Greene, grieving viewers report finding themselves utterly overwhelmed by choice when attempting to pick a single …
Joe Rogan of the Left? This credulous dipshit is vegan
Hold onto your podcasting mic! During the 2024 US Presidential election, “bro podcast” hosts like Theo Von, Andrew Schulz, and of course Joe Rogan offered fawning softball interviews …
