LONDON — The news is in! The 57th incarnation of the iconic British Prime Minister will be Rishi Sunak. Sunak will be the youngest Prime Minister in 200 years, as well as being the first person o…
Investigation of Catholic Church by Catholic Church finds no wrongdoing by Catholic Church
VATICAN CITY – Pope Francis issued a statement Thursday deeming the sexual assault allegations against Quebec Cardinal Marc Ouellet as ‘insufficient grounds’ to launch a formal investigation. The…
British Empire begs Sun to set on it
LONDON — As a record-setting heat wave sets Europe ablaze, the UK has reported its hottest day-time temperature ever recorded, leading many of its inhabitants to cry out at the sky pleading for …
Fairy tale wedding? This ceremony was attacked by wolves
VANCOUVER – Family and friends of Ted and Cecilia Watanabe found themselves whisked away to a realm of wonder, enchantment, and lupine violence at the couple’s wedding this past weeke…
US Supreme Court rules Environmental Protection Agency’s powers do not extend to protecting environment
WASHINGTON — The US Supreme Court has struck down the Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) ability to limit greenhouse pollution from power plants, arguing that protecting the environment does…
Colgate unveils new sensitivity-increasing toothpaste for nasty little freaks
MANHATTAN — Oral hygiene giant Colgate-Palmolive has announced a new line of sensitivity-increasing toothpastes designed to cater to the needs of fucked-up little pain goblins everywhere. Colgate…