MONTREAL – Prominent men’s rights groups across the country are protesting the annual Victoria Day celebration, accusing it of unfairly favouring Queen Victoria over King Victoria. “This is a per…
Quiz: You think you’re better than me?!
I saw you giving me the eye from across the subway car! Yeah, I’m talking to you Mr. plaid shirt and blue jeans! Something about me amuses you or something? Take this simple quiz to find out if y…
Study: Drop in world life expectancy attributable to rising obesity, Gorthax the Hypergalactic Space Cannibal
FREDERICTON – A ground-breaking study out of UNB has concluded that recent reductions in world life expectancy is caused equally by rising obesity rates and the recent invasion of the planet by G…
Just a heads up that we’re being invited to something called “Passover” this year
By: Aunt Pam Hello again Tompkins clan! It’s your Aunt Pam writing with my bi-monthly family update e-mail and this time I’m making sure everyone is informed about a strange invitation they might…
Frantic cleaning of apartment before arrival of guests only quality time couple spends together
GUELPH – Early today Gary and Marsha Suffolk were struck with the realization that the only time they truly spend together any more is during the panicked apartment cleanup they perform about an …
Breaking: Trump missing after chasing errant balloon through streets of D.C.
WASHINGTON D.C. – Authorities have issued an amber alert for the lost and presumed missing Donald Trump, last seen chasing a loose balloon through the streets of the U.S. capitol. “We had just ex…
After reading The Catcher in the Rye, Pope uses speech to rail against “phonies”
THE HOLY SEE – Following the completion of a recent read-through of acclaimed coming of age novel The Catcher in the Rye, Pope Francis used a private Mass sermon to criticize people he saw as “ph…
Report: Trump’s first mini-boss defeated
WASHINGTON – Anti-Trump activists across the country are celebrating following the resignation of National Security Advisor Michael Flynn, the first mini-boss in the gauntlet of minions which mus…
We asked some Australians to try these classic Canadian snack foods and they died, they all died
We thought we’d have a bit of fun and get our friends from Down Under to try some of our favourite Canadian snacks. Unfortunately it went horribly, horribly awry. 1. Ketchup Chips Sure it sounds …
TTC to become #1 transit system in North America by sabotaging other cities’ transit systems
TORONTO – Andy Byford, CEO of the Toronto Transit Commission, has promised that the TTC will become North America’s premier mass transit system by the end of 2017 through large-scale sabotage of …
