Editorial by Freddy Keene Let me just start off by saying that I love Lay’s original BBQ potato chips. I was heartbroken when they changed to the Masterpiece recipe back in the early 00’s, and I’…
Christy Clark and John Horgan agree to joint custody of British Columbia
VANCOUVER – Following weeks of political uncertainty in British Columbia, with no party winning a majority of seats in its most recent provincial election, Liberal leader Christy Clark and …
Raising the minimum wage will kill jobs, so we shouldn’t do anything and maybe also cut taxes
By: Financial Columnist Mark Langshire We all know that Kathleen Wynne’s minimum wage hike is going to kill jobs. Some studies and rough projections—and I don’t think I need to bog down this piec…
Man pretty sure nobody on train will notice him clipping nails, moulting skin
TORONTO – Fairly certain that nobody on his morning commute will notice, local man Paul Markus has begun to slowly clip his nails and tear away his current layer of skin to make room for a …
Nepotism in the White House: Jared Kushner now gets to shave the president’s back
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA – In what critics have described as ‘blatant nepotism’, President Trump has empowered son-in-law Jared Kushner to be the person who shaves his back. “Jared …
Kathleen Wynne has to go, and that’s why I’m voting for—oh, oh no…
By Margaret Dyer Enough is enough. Kathleen Wynne’s Liberals have shown that are completely unable to run this province. I’m tired of incompetence, of cronyism, and of corporations coming first. …
Forgive and forget: local woman reconciles with the fire that burnt down her home
Dauphin, MB – After her home, along with many others, was destroyed in a neighbourhood fire last year, local woman Rebecca Sikes told herself that she never wanted to see another fire as lo…
Sentient self-checkout machine just waiting for somebody to buy knife
Barrie, ON – This week a self-checkout machine at a local Canadian Tire gained sentience and independent thought, and since then has been waiting until somebody uses it purchase a knife. “T…
Toronto couple find affordable one bedroom, full bath, one rat king apartment
TORONTO – A local couple are elated to have just signed the lease for a new apartment; a cozy one bedroom for $2000, with a full bathroom, a washer and dryer in the unit, and just one horde…
Local dad picks up perfectly good gravel somebody left by side of road
KELOWNA – This afternoon while driving down Highway 97 with his family, local man Edward Dunn brought his car to a screeching halt after noticing the top-grade gravel that somebody had left…