TORONTO – In response to recently renewed discussions surrounding the problematic history of its name, Ryerson has agreed to make the necessary change – by no longer calling itself a univer…
5 ways lesbian dating has not changed during the pandemic
Over the past year and a half, COVID-19 has upended our lives in ways previously unfathomable to even the wildest, gayest imaginations. Pride celebrations have moved online, and if Drag Race Seas…
Millennial woman horrified to learn she just wakes up early now
Dartmouth, NS – A millennial woman has been horrified to discover that she just wakes up early now, all on her own. Brittany Austin, 31, made the frightening discovery last weekend, when she atte…
Masked woman can’t stop smiling now that men can’t tell her to smile
Yellowknife, NWT – A local woman who regularly wears face masks cannot stop smiling, due to the fact that men can no longer tell her to smile. Naomi Abrams, 29, hasn’t been told to smile by a man…
AITA man asks website full of assholes
BURNABY, BC – An alleged asshole has taken to a website full of assholes to determine once and for all if he is, in fact, an asshole. “Hey Reddit. Now that I work exclusively from home, I c…
REPORT: that makeup in your purse getting real gross about now
NATIONWIDE – As Canadians slowly prepare to re-enter society after more than a year in lockdown, scientists around the country are warning makeup users not to use the products that have been sitt…
Local man scrambles to find last-minute gift for one year COVID anniversary
CALGARY – A local man who has somehow miraculously forgotten that he’s been locked inside for a year is scrambling to put together a gift for his one year COVID anniversary. “I just don’t know ho…
Gay teen moves to Toronto, must once again live in closet
TORONTO – A gay teen who recently moved to Toronto has been dismayed to learn that she will once again be living in a closet – this time, literally. Piper Porter, 18, originally moved to the big …
Woman with death wish shares opinion on Twitter
SASKATOON, SK – Local woman Audrey Cortland has boldly dared to voice an opinion on Twitter, because apparently she has a fucking death wish. “This past year has been incredibly difficult for eve…
Doug Ford sets up snitch line for parents who taught kids Sex Ed during lockdown
TORONTO – With the remaining Ontario schools finally open again, Premier Doug Ford is determined to ensure a safe return to the classroom – by setting up a snitch line for heathen parents who tau…
