Trenton, NJ – Supporters of New Jersey’s long-admired governor Chris Christie were disappointed after the media revealed that he was – in fact – a politician last week. Christie…
York University Dean supports student’s religious right to Aztec human sacrifice
TORONTO – After permitting a student to be excused from course work on religious grounds so he would not have to publicly interact with female peers, the Dean of York University is also per…
Local man’s jaw freezes while complaining about weather
Newmarket, ON – A local man’s mouth has frozen shut after airing several grievances about the snow, wind and the near record low temperatures most of the country is experiencing today. Evan…
Local white woman’s Chinese character tattoo reads ‘strength, cultural appropriation’
WELLAND, ON – A caucasian woman has impressed her friends and family with a new tattoo written in Chinese calligraphy that symbolizes her values of strength and appropriating a cultural sym…
World Vision to throw in free poor child if you sponsor 5 or more goats
Monrovia, CA – One of the world’s largest christian aid programs is offering its donors the free gift of an impoverished child when you adopt 5 or more goats for his or her village. “We are…
Americans celebrate National Consumer Stampede Day
Richmond, VA – Embracing their capitalist roots, Americans have kicked off National Consumer Stampede Day with frenzied riots at department stores across the country. Thousands of people wa…
Queen’s student wearing Queen’s jacket alerts fellow Queen’s students on Queen’s campus that he too studies at Queen’s
KINGSTON – A student has informed campus colleagues that he is a member of their university by wearing a jacket with his institution’s name emblazoned on the back. “I just wanted to reassur…
EU officials celebrate upholding Canadian seal product ban with foie gras meal
BRUSSELS – Members of the European Trade Commission gorged on fattened duck liver to to celebrate the WTO’s decision to uphold the ban on Canadian seal products. “We’re pleased to hear that…
Mayor Ford officially ruins sex
TORONTO – Embattled Toronto mayor Rob Ford ruined intercourse for thousands of Torontonians today when he implanted the image of him passionately engaging in cunnilingus in their minds fore…
Why we shud fergive Mayer Ford for misstakes
BY: FRAZER ROBBINS, FORD NATION SUPPORTER Mayer Rob Ford is good man, but hes humaine and makes misstakes. He keeps txes lowe and his pramises he siad durring the campain. He maye hve dun sumthin…
