TORONTO – Embattled Toronto mayor Rob Ford ruined intercourse for thousands of Torontonians today when he implanted the image of him passionately engaging in cunnilingus in their minds forevermore.
“I just can’t get the image out of my head” said Susanna Timbowl who was about to engage in intercourse with her husband when she overheard the mayor’s comments. “All I could picture was Mayor Ford’s sweaty face rubbing up against my body while using football-related dirty talk. That’s when we had to stop.”
At press time, citizens were glad that Mayor Ford doesn’t have much else to ruin.
