MONTREAL – In what is being called a courageous act of apathy, a landlord has eliminated most of his building’s bed bugs by ignoring calls to fix the building’s centralized heating system. …
Team Canada fails to medal at Opening Olympic Ceremonies again
SOCHI – For the 22nd time in Winter Olympic history, Team Canada has failed to win a medal on the opening ceremonies event. “It’s really disappointing that we couldn’t mak…
Big 5 banks worried Canadians not saving enough for retirement of bank CEOs
TORONTO – The Big 5 Canadian banks are sending a warning to Canadians; save up or else their executives may not retire in excessive opulence. Last year, TD, RBC, CIBC, BMO and Scotiabank co…
Fantino thanks veterans for bravely sacrificing services so Canadians can have a free and balanced budget
OTTAWA – Veterans Affairs Minister Julian Fantino made a public apology to veterans for showing up late to an important meeting, and also took the opportunity to thank them for their sacrif…
Trudeau removes pants after nation’s women demand greater transparency
OTTAWA – Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau has made a radical move in removing his pants after hearing the demands of many Canadian women for greater transparency in Canadian politics. The sudd…
Breakthrough deal made as Blackberry shareholders agree on Thai food
WATERLOO – Significant progress has been made at the troubled tech giant Blackberry after shareholders agreed that they should eat Thai food at the next meeting. The decision was made at 11…
Reader surprised to discover Hemingway’s ‘Farewell to Arms’ not about author’s loss of limbs
Surrey, BC – Readers everywhere were shocked when they realized that Ernest Hemingway’s classic war novel A Farewell to Arms was not about the graphic loss of the author’s limbs. “A l…
Israeli Prime Minister Stephen Harper returns after long visit in Canada
TEL AVIV – After nine long years travelling in Canada to promote his country, Israel’s prime minister Stephen Harper is finally back in his homeland. “From what I have learned, Canada is a …
