WATERLOO – Significant progress has been made at the troubled tech giant Blackberry after shareholders agreed that they should eat Thai food at the next meeting.
The decision was made at 11:35 last night after a marathon 6 hour shareholder meeting that would decide the company’s gastronomical fate.
“Shareholder confidence has been low recently,” said Blackberry CEO John S. Chen, “but we will continue to make bold and creative moves on the food we serve our owners and executives.”
Blackberry’s poor decision with pizza and salad at the previous investor meetings led to fourth quarter losses and the development of the PlayBook. The move to ordering pad thai, tom yam goong and kaeng som has made many more investors optimistic about the company’s fate.
Business analysts predicted a split between Fairfax Financial Holdings who supported the safe, but cheap investment of Chinese food against Canso Investment, Mackenzie Financial and Qatar’s sovereign wealth fund that demanded the riskier, but tastier falafels and shawarma.
Despite intense arguments over price volatility of tabbouleh and the name branding of General Tao chicken, the new Blackberry executive team “broke down the internal silos” to make a deal.
At press time, Fairfax CEO Prem Watsa was scorning the delivery man for not including enough sriracha sauce with the order.
