MUSKOKA, ON – Talks at the First Ministers meeting, held this year in Ontario cottage country, have broken down as the assembled premiers immediately disagreed over who was next in line to …
Year: 2025
Baby bunny frolicking in park clearly doesn’t have what it takes to make it through winter
CALGARY – As Calgarians enjoy another perfect summer day, visitors to a local park have noticed that one of the resident baby bunnies lacks the survival instincts necessary to make it through the…
Canada: “We are prepared to issue as many empty statements as necessary to stop this genocide”
OTTAWA – Two months after issuing one statement promising “concrete actions” if Israel did not stop intentionally starving Palestinians in Gaza, Canada has joined with 24 other nations to i…
Oppo research on Poilievre uncovers embarrassing past as Leader of Opposition
STARLAND, AB – CPC Leader Pierre Poilievre’s chances in the upcoming Battle River-Crowfoot election have been thrown into doubt, after his competitors announced that oppo research has unear…
Local man unsure if Canada Post is on strike or if he just doesn’t get a lot of mail
MONCTON – 36-year-old Moncton resident Aaron Landry expressed confusion late Monday evening after opening his empty mailbox for the sixth time in a row, uncertain if his lack of mail was du…
Toronto’s real estate market forces Paul McCartney to move concert to Hamilton
HAMILTON – As more Torontonians relocate to cities that offer more affordable housing, rock legend Sir Paul McCartney announced that his Toronto concert at the Scotiabank Arena is also being relo…
CBS launches The Late Show With Jon Voight as part of fall, Trump-approved line-up
NEW YORK CITY – Following the sudden cancellation of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, CBS has announced a revamp of their prime-time line-up designed to appease the Trump administration …
White House officials say Donald Trump diagnosed with chronic “Distract From Epstein Scandal-itis”
WASHINGTON D.C. – Amid the ongoing rumours, lies, and coverups related to President Donald Trump’s relationship to notorious sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, White House officials called a pre…
Poilievre bonds with Alberta farmer constituent by asking if he’s seen the latest Tim Pool video
“Forget about the price of cattle for a sec, check out how he owns this blue-haired chick.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) speculate about what s…
Supposedly hip young person doesn’t even know who LCD Soundsystem is
HAMILTON, ON — Reports have confirmed that Miley Autlin, 24, a person previously believed by experts to be “cool”, “up on the scene” and even “really into the new stuff” literally didn’t even kno…
