EDMONTON – Connor McDavid and the Maple Leafs fanbase have agreed to a two-year, $25 million deferral of all overoptimistic conjecture about the Oilers captain one day signing with Toronto. The contract includes a full no-trade-speculation clause.
“I really enjoyed skating that fine line between pandering to my fans in Edmonton and keeping Leafs fans’ hopes alive,” says McDavid. “I’m looking forward to offering more indirect answers to questions about my impending free agency two years from now.”
The deal guarantees a complete postulation embargo during the 2025-26 season, followed by more limited protection in 2026-27. Credentialed reporters will be prohibited from mentioning McDavid’s childhood Leafs fandom and significant family connections in Ontario until summer 2027, but bloggers and TikTok accounts will have free reign to mention Toronto’s superior media market as soon as the Oilers are next eliminated from the Stanley Cup Playoffs.
Diehard Leafs fan Jared Phillips says he’s relieved to have a break from posting conspiracy theories on Reddit about McDavid’s infamous “no-term” interview and his obviously staged friendship with Leon Draisaitl.
“The Oilers have proven time and time again that they can’t do any better than coming within one or two goals of winning a Stanley Cup,” says Phillips. “I’m happy to give McDavid two more years to realize that. Now I can go back to my second favourite hobby: making fan edits of William Nylander’s shirtless media interviews set to “We Found Love In A Hopeless Place.”
Meanwhile, in an effort to stay above the NHL’s speculation floor, the Oilers are encouraging Leafs fans to dream about poaching goalie Stuart Skinner instead.
