TORONTO, ON – Seventeen-year-old Alexandra Green failed her road test yesterday after neglecting to scream and curse at a law-abiding cyclist. The biker, who was safely riding on the right side …
Critics question whether new Downton Abbey movie really needed to open the multiverse
HOLLYWOOD – Inspired by hit movies like Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, the new Downton Abbey film will introduce multiverse theory into the lives of the beloved Crawley family. The …
Country fails to see the symbolism in taking down pride flags on Canada Day
OTTAWA – The first day of July, also known as Canada Day, is a holiday Canadians spend going to the beach, setting off fireworks, and taking down pride flags nationwide. The federal government ma…
“It’s probably just seasonal allergies,” says man who really wants to go to a concert this week
MONTREAL – “It must be seasonal allergies,” says 25-year-old Kyle Miller, as he blows his nose and coughs. Miller has never before had any seasonal allergies, but he does have tickets to a Vampir…
“Wanna see me open it with my teeth?” says frat boy operating the roof at the Rogers Centre
BLUE JAY WAY, TORONTO – In a misguided effort to impress someone, Sigma Chi president and Rogers Centre roof operator Andrew “Smitty-boy” Smith is claiming he can open the stadium roof with his t…
Opinion: If corporations can be tried as individuals, then why can’t my ex-boyfriend’s improv team?
TORONTO – The legal doctrine known as corporate personhood states that corporations can be sued just like individual people. So if I can sue a corporation, why the hell can’t I sue my ex-boyfrien…