LAS VEGAS – Fresh off scoring 51 goals in 54 games Leafs centre Auston Matthews has announced that he has heard the criticism and will immediately devote his time and effort to developing h…
Tag: Edmonton Oilers
Fuck it, let’s do some Connor McDavid trade proposals to see how mad they make Oilers fans
The Edmonton Oilers suck. And not just how they’ve usually sucked for most of our lives. This was a team considered to be a Stanley Cup favourite by every NHL analyst who forgot that goalte…
Oilers struggles blamed on carbon tax
EDMONTON – With the pre-season Stanley Cup favourite Edmonton Oilers struggling to develop momentum, Premier Danielle Smith blamed the team’s performance on the Liberal government’s carbon …
Canadian NHL teams ranked by how furious I would be if they win a Cup before the Leafs
No Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup since 1993 (by pure coincidence the year Gary Bettman became NHL commissioner). And every year one team gets close there is a suggestion that all Canadian…
Winners and Losers of the 2023 NHL draft based on the 5 minutes of research I did right before it started
Another first round of the NHL draft has come and gone. And if there is one thing we know about selecting a bunch of 18 year olds to play professional hockey for our teams 1-4 years down the line…
Oilers and Leafs fans seamlessly transition from arguing about which team is going to win the Cup to which team shat the bed worse
TORONTO – Having spent much of the season locked in fierce online battles about whether the Leafs or Oilers would win the Cup, team fans have effortlessly moved on to discussing which team …
Vegas Golden Knights defeat Edmonton Draisaitls 6-4
LAS VEGAS – The Golden Knights opened up a 1-0 series lead in the Western Conference Semifinals last night, defeating the Edmonton Leon Draisaitls 6-4. “Glad we won but it was a tough…
Oilers fan sick of media always talking about the Leafs has tweeted about the Leafs 6 times today
EDMONTON – Leonard Bagan, a die-hard Edmonton Oilers fan, says he is sick and tired of Canada’s sports media always covering the Toronto Maple Leafs, a team he has devoted his life to…
Report: Team that lost in 7 to Stanley Cup finalist must be blown up, team that lost in 4 to other finalist in great shape
DENVER – As the Stanley Cup Finals kicks off in Denver hockey experts agree that the Edmonton Oilers, who were swept by the finalist Avs, are ready to make a great run next year while the T…
Flames head coach starting to think team should cover this McDavid guy
EDMONTON – Ahead of Game 4 Calgary Flames head coach Darryl Sutter unveiled a secret plan to actually play defense against Oilers forward Connor McDavid. “Our strategy of just letting…