MONCTON – Officials announced Monday that local health inspector Burt Beynolds has been let go from his position as city health inspector for judging restaurants according to his particular preferences, instead of municipal bylaws.
Beyonlds, for his part, has filed a wrongful dismissal suit, arguing, “So I went above and beyond the call of duty. Sue me. See your regular inspector, all they care about is stopping illness, disease, and death — me, I do all that and protect civilians against anything icky, sticky, or yicky.”
Beynolds has been on probation since October, when he wrote up a local eatery for serving “foods that were touching each other.”
“We’re not authorized to speak about individual employment disputes,” said head of Communications for New Brunswick Public Health, Lisa Lipton. “But, let’s say a certain employee gave a Greek restaurant a failing grade because they served olives. That would, hypothetically, be inappropriate.”
In fact, all of Beynolds past assessments have been called into question — as an anonymous source leaked that he has also been accused of overlooking restaurants with generous “picky eater friendly” menu items. So far, 5 Jack Astor’s, 3 East Side Mario’s, and 27 Tim Horton’s have been downgraded to “barely passed.”
Some, including local toddler Grayson Hitchcock, support Mr. Beynolds. “They should have chicken nuggets everywhere,” said Grayson, while licking dirt off his shoe.
These words of encouragement mean a lot to Mr. Beynolds, “It’s sad. It’s discriminatory, really. Just because I have my Food Handler Certification doesn’t mean I should be expected to handle every kind of food.”
At press time, Mr. Beynolds was in the process of opening his own burger restaurant, where tomatoes are banned from the premises.