'See No Covid, Hear No Covid' strategy working about as well as expected - The Beaverton

‘See No Covid, Hear No Covid’ strategy working about as well as expected

OTTAWA – As cases skyrocket around the country and hospitals are overwhelmed, the federal and provincial health approach of ‘see no , hear no covid’ has been called into question.

“The federal and provincial governments decided masking and mandates were unpopular,” said health expert Dr. Martin Hoffman. “So instead they, like the wise monkeys from the proverb, chose to cover their eyes and ears lest they witness any evidence about the damage the was doing to our population.”

“For some reason ignoring a virus and hoping it goes away hasn’t lowered case numbers.”

The official strategy of ‘Covid? What Covid?’ has been adopted by health agencies at all levels after they noticed that people did not like doing things that helped them avoid Covid, would much prefer if Covid wasn’t something they had to worry about, and concluded that was somehow relevant when dealing with a mutating virus that has already killed millions.

However governments are beginning to take action. The government has been encouraging mask wearing, and also announced a law banning anyone from saying Covid three times into a mirror.

At press time few people will read this article because everyone is over the Pandemic and us going on and on about it, and people who worry about things like ‘kids dying’ are annoying and we just want to be able to go to Wendy’s without putting a small piece of fabric on our face for 5 fucking seconds so fuck off and leave me alone.