TORONTO – Usually it’s the hockey players that are praised for inspiring people. But today people are taking time to praise the unsung heroes of the game, the refs, for letting them know it is possible to get a high-paying job where you do absolutely nothing.
“The idea of showing up to work and just kind of drifting around, ignoring all your duties while you stare straight ahead and fantasize about the money you’re making sounds pretty good to me,” said local man Deandre Bennett.
“I tried it once when I worked at the Apple Store but I got fired almost right away.”
As NHL refs standard approach of ‘you have to call an equal number of penalties no matter who has actually committed more penalties’ has morphed into a ‘just don’t call any penalties, especially in the third period’ commitment, fans have taken notice. Young athletes have signed up for referee school en masse. And those too old have tried to adopt their practices into their own line of work.
“Last week my boss demanded to know why I hadn’t done any work on the Henderson account. I just told him I don’t answer questions and referred all inquiries to head office,” said Alice Framer of Moose Jaw.
“I told my manager I didn’t want to be seen as influencing outcomes too much. She was confused since I work at Indigo,” said Jake Montrose of Edmonton.
Reached for comment a spokesperson for the NHL referees’ union advised they were glad so many had been inspired, and said that they hoped to encourage many more to reach for the stars during the upcoming playoffs.
