OTTAWA – While waiting in line at the Parliamentary cafeteria, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said he’s willing to go to the polls if he doesn’t get his hands on some gooey mozza sticks with…
Tag: Erin O’Toole
Schitt’s Creek Emmy sweep inspires Canadian government to add another nickel to arts funding jar
OTTAWA – After the beloved Canadian sitcom Schitt’s Creek walked away from yesterday’s Emmy Awards with 9 wins, the Canadian government was so buoyed by the show’s success that it decided to add …
Erin O’Toole can’t understand why Lügenpresse are criticizing his Canada First policy
OTTAWA – Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole is said to be flummoxed as to why the Lying Press is criticizing him for announcing a Canada First approach to the economy and global trade. …
Parties consider fall election after determining Canadians haven’t suffered enough in 2020
OTTAWA – the nation’s political parties are reportedly debating pushing for a fall election after determining 2020 hasn’t been quite painful enough for Canadians. “Sure there’s been a pande…
Erin O’Toole nabs Canada’s coveted racist statue demographic
OTTAWA – This weekend the Conservative Party’s new leader made promising inroads with a key voter demographic: Canada’s tight-knit community of racist statues. “What happened to our brother…
Man whose campaign slogan proposed violent fight for power against people he disagrees with hopes to win over moderates
OTTAWA – Erin O’Toole, whose campaign slogan was ‘Take Canada Back’ has announced that he will focus on trying to win over the moderate voters that Andrew Scheer’s s…
Guy who has definitely gotten into a fight at a minor league hockey game wins Conservative leadership
OTTAWA – Moving on from Andrew Scheer The Conservative Party has selected for it’s leader Durham MP and guy who has for sure gotten into a tussle at a minor league hockey game Erin O&…
Party that wants to manage government can’t manage counting a few thousand votes
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada, a party which would like to be in charge of the whole country, was unable to announce Erin O’Toole’s victory until well after 1am due …
Conservative Party announces this the best they could do
OTTAWA – In an announcement over Zoom from its headquarters, the Conservative Party of Canada revealed after a months-long campaign, that this, this, is the best the party has to offer. “Lo…
Ottawa asking deceased veterans to confirm status every 3 years
OTTAWA – Following the newly instated policy that requires veterans to verify lost limbs, Ottawa is now also requiring deceased veterans to prove their status every three years. “This…